Again Coronavirus had our country firmly under control. On the occasion of the upcoming national holiday, the state’s public television conducted a short interview with the head of government and his deputy on sunday. “Federal government does not rule out further lockdown,” was written under the image of the young Federal Chancellor.
“‘It’s sharp on the button’. This is how the most important statements about Corona on this sunday can be summarized,” the moderator of the main news introduced the contribution of the government.
“It is a national holiday that is overshadowed by the Corona pandemic and so it will be a special, different national holiday,” the Chancellor began with his statement. “Patriotism now means sticking together,” the Vice Chancellor helped him with an appeal to the Nation.
At a distance of several meters, the chief editor of domestic policy asked the all-important question about the regulations in the wake of the pandemic: “Has it already been possible to convince the population that they have to adhere to them? One doesn’t always have the impression.” (How do you “convince” someone that they “have to”? “One” doesn’t always have the impression that this works successfully…) The Federal Chancellor tried to apply the “complicated rules” to “three things”, as always: “Keep distance, wear a mask, meet a maximum of six people indoors, a maximum of twelve people outdoors.” (These were “four things”.)
He concluded with the words: “If further tightening is needed, we will inform the population about.” “It’s quite possible that there will be more stringent Corona rules,” the moderator then summarized the contribution.
So it was, our country. Marvellous mountains, a much-sung river, an overall beautiful nature, magnificent buildings and kind-hearted people. But if there was still need for further proof that this was probably the stupidest country in the world, here it was.
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Vienna Calling 